23.

deleted.

22.

i want to cancel out my emotional shortcomings by showering myself in things only money can buy, only things money can provide; happiness is certainly included. i just want nice things and a nice, comfortable life.

i picture clean white walls, simplistic furniture, polished floorboards, framed prints hanging on every wall and a camera on the table. i want to be past this awkward stage of not knowing what to do and i desperately need inspiration and motivation. they say less is more, but what do you do when you have nothing.

21.

wednesday night was such a good night, it makes me realise my life will be vastly improved once i have a secure job and i can drink frequently. most of the group were drunk and some were beyond drunk, aka liam. all i can say is how did we have so much fun when there was a large period of time where we just had photos taken of us as i pulled heinous faces. i did not enjoy the hour walk home at all. i would like to thank my friends and new friends for making it a good night and to liam for providing the funnies; 'message the internet, tell it i am ready to go'.

and i'll i've got to say, is that you guys are all i need.

20.

normally i don't update out of laziness but recently it's because i haven't left the house very often, which in turn makes it hard to write about any new adventures although i doubt anyone really cares.

generally my day goes: wake up at two pm, turn on my computer and sign in and then retreat to my bed to watch episode after episode of grey's anatomy. i had always thought this series was utter crap from the one-off episodes i had seen on television but i've been sucked in and i'm only up to the second of five seasons. it's the right mix of drama and sadness that makes me look and sound like a girl, i live a good life. come sit on my bed sometime, i'll catch you up on the storyline.

hatred upon me, hatred upon you.

19.

my sleeping pattern is beyond fucked now, too many six am bedtimes and three pm wake ups. i haven't left the house in three days but thankfully tomorrow i'll at least go elsewhere to use the internet, and hopefully go out. almost cannot contain my excitement for friday.

i never sleep -> death's relative, you know the deal.